[ He nods. That... sounds like Lance, honestly. Shiro thinks about the Lance he'd first met: determined to prove himself, constantly butting heads with Keith. He's proud of Lance, for seeing the value in teamwork. It's nothing he hasn't seen. But when he reflects on it, he's happy.
He folds his hands on the table in front of him. ]
Yeah. It was probably confusing, at first, right? [ He tilts his head slightly with a hint of a smile. ] A total stranger telling you that you needed to do this thing.
Way too confusing. The two of us weren't even assigned to work together in the first place, it was so reckless. [Pot, kettle... at least he can thank his past self for being such a dismissive little shit as to not let himself dwell on it and instead just be bitter about it for a while. He huffs slightly before continuing, no sense in dwelling on it now.] He... did seem pretty distressed, though. [Oh.] All of that makes sense now, at least.
[But, there's not a lot of bite to his words. That's just how he is, right? From what little he actually remembered of Lance, that's just par for the course.
And then Shiro says that, and it's not hard to piece together the implications. Just because he was leagues better at hiding it doesn't mean he wouldn't have been terribly upset about getting to heaven to find Keith as a shinki. Lance, too, later on... it must have been a lot to bear.
It's probably still a lot to bear.]
I'm sorry. [There's nothing he can really do about his fate and status here, but facing someone who was affected to hard by it, an apology is the least he can offer.] I'm... honestly really glad you're here, but I'd never want to put you in a position like this.
[ Ah... Keith's apologizing, and he really doesn't have to. He's the last person who should. Shiro looks at him seriously as he shakes his head. ]
I never blamed you, Keith. I know you'd never forget me, or want to. [ He can say that with the utmost confidence. ] It was never your fault. And I was never upset with you.
I know you'd never. [Though, he might argue that it was probably his own fault that he went and died. Not that he has any basis to argue it, so he won't say as much.] It's just not, you know, very fair. [To either of them, but definitely not to Shiro.]
I'm glad I remember now, and that you're here. [If all of this had come back to him without Shiro here to talk to, he's not sure how well he would have been able to cope with all of that information.] Knowing more about you like this... I'm sure I can do a better job of protecting you while you're here.
And I know for a fact I'll be able to trust you to do the same.
[ He chuckles and nudges him on back. It always strikes him how proud he is of Keith. He's always known his potential, but... seeing him having come into his own is good. ]
[At the question, he takes a second to regard his coffee, giving it a brief stare-down as he thinks. There are a few things he wants confirmed, but before asking them outright, he wants to stir them around in his mind a little. Figure out what's safe to ask, and how to ask them without slipping Shiro up into revealing too much.
He knows Shiro wouldn't ever intentionally hurt him, but he wants to be careful too.]
A couple. [At least.] I'm not... totally human, right?
[If the things he and Shiro talked about are any hint, getting the full memory of his trip to the weblum with Hunk was certainly enlightening.]
[Shiro's words bring a small smile to his face. That isn't something he was ever worried about, not particularly. If the one clear string of memories he recalled were any indication, this revelation was mostly... something that the rest of the team just needed some time to get used to. Hopefully.
His expression thins a little, but he feels like chasing down the resolution to how everyone else felt about it would be very unwise. It's... not important right now, anyway. The other paladins who have arrived here treated him well enough, he doesn't need to dwell on it past that.]
I know you of all people wouldn't care about something like that. [Despite everything he's been through, he can count on that part of Shiro to never change.]
[ He returns the smile, quiet and warm. Even if Keith isn't completely human, who cares? Not him. Technically, Shiro isn't human either. It's still strange, thinking of his body as that of a clone's. At least Haggar had done something good, and given him a future without realizing it.
But still... it's bittersweet. ]
You're still Keith. Still the same Keith who suggested we stack the lions on top of each other to form Voltron.
Keith doesn't remember the event clearly, but he does recall Shiro responding to it, saying it's worth a shot. Like a lot of things, he can piece together knowledge of things they've talked about, things he's seen here in the Far Shore along with the more defined memory that came to him. He knows the lions, he's seen all five of them at some point now, but Voltron itself remains something of a mystery. A blank spot in his mind. He can, at least, imagine what the bunch of them sitting on top of each other might look like. That... had been an awfully long time ago, hadn't it? A lot has happened to the both of them since then, and while Keith's particular circumstances lead it to feeling even farther in the past than it may for Shiro, it really does feel like... a whole lifetime ago at this point.
He nods with a soft laugh that dissolves into a vaguely melancholy feeling as a few implications settle on his mind with the lions in particular being brought up.]
Red... isn't actually mine anymore, right? [He keeps his tone even, but it's a sad conclusion to come to. The lion had been so vital to him, even just during his time here, but the more he thinks about it, the more sense it honestly makes.]
He won't blame him for being sad, if he ever revealed it. But Shiro can kind of guess at that. Keith and Red had forged a hell of a bond, and the lion had come to save him every time he was in need. (If a little delayed sometimes, but still.) He considers his words carefully, and before he speaks, he shakes his head. ]
No. After I disappeared for a while-- [ boy is that weird to say, like he'd disappeared and come back himself instead of a clone doing so ] --things had to change. But I don't think Red ever stopped caring about you.
[ That the lion had come to Keith even here is pretty telling. Honestly, Shiro wishes things had transitioned more smoothly, but... He couldn't have predicted dying the way he did. He'd always known it would happen, but-- not like that. ]
The careful consideration put into the reply is so very Shiro, it does quite a bit to put Keith at ease through these less-pleasant revelations. He gives his friend a soft, brief smile for his efforts while the conversation continues on.
Shiro sure did his fair share of vanishing, if what Keith can recall is accurate. Surely that did a number on the team more than once, he'd assume, but even besides that, it's not like all lion-swapping was the result of his absences, either.]
I ended up disappearing too, though. [It was a much more, uh, anticipated disappearance, at least. He can remember confronting Shiro, and he can assume the rest of the team as well, about leaving Voltron in their hands. While that wasn't the last time he saw them, it is the last time he can confidently say he was part of the team in any direct capacity.] So... it was probably going to happen sooner or later, right? That I'd have to pass Red on to someone else.
The many times he's vanished... Shiro hasn't forgiven himself. He doubts he ever will. It's with a lot of guilt that he thinks back to the first time--it's very likely he could've died up on Kerberos. Then there was the battle against Zarkon, when he'd poured his whole life and being into forming that flaming sword... And after their fight. It's probably the worst memory he has, and it isn't completely his.
He wishes, desperately, he could apologize to Keith for it. But it's not a possibility. He won't even truly entertain the thought. He'd told Yoon, so long ago, that he wouldn't do anything to endanger Keith. It hadn't just been for Yoon's benefit. Keith's endured so much hurt, and if Shiro were to add to that in the most terrible way, it would be absolutely unforgivable.
He watches Keith, and slowly, he nods. ]
You did what you had to. [ The team had been angry, yes, but-- but they'd understood, after Keith had explained. Shiro wishes one of them--him, definitely--had told Keith that he was wanted, that-- that they wanted him to stay. He can't imagine how lonely Keith must have felt. ] No one could stop you from that. Red found a great pilot, though. I can promise you that.
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He folds his hands on the table in front of him. ]
Yeah. It was probably confusing, at first, right? [ He tilts his head slightly with a hint of a smile. ] A total stranger telling you that you needed to do this thing.
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[ Shiro exhales, folding his hands on the table in front of him. ]
I can understand how he felt, though.
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[But, there's not a lot of bite to his words. That's just how he is, right? From what little he actually remembered of Lance, that's just par for the course.
And then Shiro says that, and it's not hard to piece together the implications. Just because he was leagues better at hiding it doesn't mean he wouldn't have been terribly upset about getting to heaven to find Keith as a shinki. Lance, too, later on... it must have been a lot to bear.
It's probably still a lot to bear.]
I'm sorry. [There's nothing he can really do about his fate and status here, but facing someone who was affected to hard by it, an apology is the least he can offer.] I'm... honestly really glad you're here, but I'd never want to put you in a position like this.
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I never blamed you, Keith. I know you'd never forget me, or want to. [ He can say that with the utmost confidence. ] It was never your fault. And I was never upset with you.
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[ Mirroring his thoughts, unconsciously. Shiro gives him a little smile. ]
But what's fair or not... dwelling on it won't do anyone any good. Besides, you remember now. That's more than I could ever ask for.
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I'm glad I remember now, and that you're here. [If all of this had come back to him without Shiro here to talk to, he's not sure how well he would have been able to cope with all of that information.] Knowing more about you like this... I'm sure I can do a better job of protecting you while you're here.
And I know for a fact I'll be able to trust you to do the same.
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I'm glad, too. [ Keith... he laughs low, soft. ] You've been doing great, Keith. I have no complaints at all, so don't sell yourself so short.
[ Pot, kettle. ]
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[Will he be Truly Satisfied with his work until Shiro doesn't ever have to be put in dangerous situations to begin with? Debatable.]
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I could say the same for myself. [ A smile, encouraging and just enough self-deprecation. That's just how he be. ] So... we both improve together.
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I could always get strong enough to keep the both of us safe. [Is... is he joking? He could be serious. He might mean it for real.]
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[ He chuckles softly. ]
I don't want you to hurt your back from carrying all those burdens.
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[And, here, he playfully elbows at Shiro, as if to say, 'unlike some people'.]
Besides, it's not like I'd ever think of protecting you as a burden.
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Fair enough. You're pretty good at it, anyway.
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[But... could he do more? Probably!!
Rather than get into all of that right now, though, let's just worry about what's going on now: their meals and drinks.]
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And what do you know, there's their food and drinks! Shiro thanks the waiter, and he takes a sip of coffee. ]
So... any burning questions?
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He knows Shiro wouldn't ever intentionally hurt him, but he wants to be careful too.]
A couple. [At least.] I'm not... totally human, right?
[If the things he and Shiro talked about are any hint, getting the full memory of his trip to the weblum with Hunk was certainly enlightening.]
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Not completely.
[ He sips his coffee. ]
But it never changed how I looked at you.
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His expression thins a little, but he feels like chasing down the resolution to how everyone else felt about it would be very unwise. It's... not important right now, anyway. The other paladins who have arrived here treated him well enough, he doesn't need to dwell on it past that.]
I know you of all people wouldn't care about something like that. [Despite everything he's been through, he can count on that part of Shiro to never change.]
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[ He returns the smile, quiet and warm. Even if Keith isn't completely human, who cares? Not him. Technically, Shiro isn't human either. It's still strange, thinking of his body as that of a clone's. At least Haggar had done something good, and given him a future without realizing it.
But still... it's bittersweet. ]
You're still Keith. Still the same Keith who suggested we stack the lions on top of each other to form Voltron.
[ an idea yOU AGREED TO SHIRO ]
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Keith doesn't remember the event clearly, but he does recall Shiro responding to it, saying it's worth a shot. Like a lot of things, he can piece together knowledge of things they've talked about, things he's seen here in the Far Shore along with the more defined memory that came to him. He knows the lions, he's seen all five of them at some point now, but Voltron itself remains something of a mystery. A blank spot in his mind. He can, at least, imagine what the bunch of them sitting on top of each other might look like. That... had been an awfully long time ago, hadn't it? A lot has happened to the both of them since then, and while Keith's particular circumstances lead it to feeling even farther in the past than it may for Shiro, it really does feel like... a whole lifetime ago at this point.
He nods with a soft laugh that dissolves into a vaguely melancholy feeling as a few implications settle on his mind with the lions in particular being brought up.]
Red... isn't actually mine anymore, right? [He keeps his tone even, but it's a sad conclusion to come to. The lion had been so vital to him, even just during his time here, but the more he thinks about it, the more sense it honestly makes.]
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He won't blame him for being sad, if he ever revealed it. But Shiro can kind of guess at that. Keith and Red had forged a hell of a bond, and the lion had come to save him every time he was in need. (If a little delayed sometimes, but still.) He considers his words carefully, and before he speaks, he shakes his head. ]
No. After I disappeared for a while-- [ boy is that weird to say, like he'd disappeared and come back himself instead of a clone doing so ] --things had to change. But I don't think Red ever stopped caring about you.
[ That the lion had come to Keith even here is pretty telling. Honestly, Shiro wishes things had transitioned more smoothly, but... He couldn't have predicted dying the way he did. He'd always known it would happen, but-- not like that. ]
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The careful consideration put into the reply is so very Shiro, it does quite a bit to put Keith at ease through these less-pleasant revelations. He gives his friend a soft, brief smile for his efforts while the conversation continues on.
Shiro sure did his fair share of vanishing, if what Keith can recall is accurate. Surely that did a number on the team more than once, he'd assume, but even besides that, it's not like all lion-swapping was the result of his absences, either.]
I ended up disappearing too, though. [It was a much more, uh, anticipated disappearance, at least. He can remember confronting Shiro, and he can assume the rest of the team as well, about leaving Voltron in their hands. While that wasn't the last time he saw them, it is the last time he can confidently say he was part of the team in any direct capacity.] So... it was probably going to happen sooner or later, right? That I'd have to pass Red on to someone else.
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The many times he's vanished... Shiro hasn't forgiven himself. He doubts he ever will. It's with a lot of guilt that he thinks back to the first time--it's very likely he could've died up on Kerberos. Then there was the battle against Zarkon, when he'd poured his whole life and being into forming that flaming sword... And after their fight. It's probably the worst memory he has, and it isn't completely his.
He wishes, desperately, he could apologize to Keith for it. But it's not a possibility. He won't even truly entertain the thought. He'd told Yoon, so long ago, that he wouldn't do anything to endanger Keith. It hadn't just been for Yoon's benefit. Keith's endured so much hurt, and if Shiro were to add to that in the most terrible way, it would be absolutely unforgivable.
He watches Keith, and slowly, he nods. ]
You did what you had to. [ The team had been angry, yes, but-- but they'd understood, after Keith had explained. Shiro wishes one of them--him, definitely--had told Keith that he was wanted, that-- that they wanted him to stay. He can't imagine how lonely Keith must have felt. ] No one could stop you from that. Red found a great pilot, though. I can promise you that.
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